"Thirty, man, that's like..." Shannon trailed off. "Your life is over."

Jeff rolled his eyes.

"You can forget about all them girls throwing themselves at you, that's history. Probably just as well, you'll barely be able to keep it up soon."

"Yes Shan, if you say so." Jeff didn't bother looking up from the canvas he was working on.

Shannon scowled. "Ain't you even a little bit worried about turning thirty?"

"Not really, no. Matt's past thirty, and he hasn't turned into a decrepit old bastard just yet."

"Aw, fuck, now I have to find something to do for the hour and a half I planned to spend torturing you about you being old."

"Sorry," Jeff offered disingenuously. "If you want you can accuse me of being gay and I can pretend to give a shit?"

"Nah, that got boring years ago." Shannon brightened. "I could go torment Matt about his hairline though, that always entertains me. Well, right up to the point where he starts chasing me with a drill, anyhow."

"Did you give him much hassle when he turned thirty?"

"Not really. I tried a couple of times, but he seemed to be completely immune to it. Dunno why, but it sure as hell didn't seem fair to me. I'd been looking forward to it for at least six years."

Jeff smirked. "I think he'd picked up some incredibly hot piece of ass a couple of days before. Or something."

"Well whatever it was, it spoiled my fucking fun." Shannon got to his feet. "Okay, I'm gonna go tease Matt about going bald."

"Close the door behind you," Jeff yelled after him, his smirk widening into a grin as he recalled his last meeting with Matt before Matt's thirtieth birthday. Shaking his head to try and regain his focus, he returned his attention to his painting, although that night was pretty hard to forget.

Jeff had just turned off the light and was about to head to his bedroom when his door rattled energetically. Swearing to himself about what a prick his brother was for showing up at this hour when he knew Jeff liked to get an early night on the rare occasions that he had his house all to himself, Jeff flipped the light back on and went to unlock the door. He stubbed his bare toe on a leg of his table as he went past, and started lining up the insults in his mind ready to throw at Matt.

When he opened the door though the insults flew out of his head, taken off guard by Matt's exuberance.

"Hi Jeff!" Matt threw his arms wide for a hug, wearing the cheesiest grin Jeff had seen since DDP's motivational gimmick.

Perplexed, Jeff stood still while Matt squeezed him hard enough to elicit a crack from his back; he was actually grateful for that, it hadn't felt right all day. Matt sidled past him into the house, still wearing that stupid grin, and Jeff closed the door with a sigh. He had a feeling whatever had brought Matt over here was going to keep him awake for quite a while.

He turned to face Matt's annoyingly perky expression. "So what brings you here to interfere with my plans?"

"Well, you know it's my birthday next week?"

Jeff couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, you old fucker. How does it feel to be leaving your twenties behind?" He was disappointed when instead of hurling abuse at him, Matt continued to grin.

"That's the thing, I came here because... you're alone tonight, right?" Matt looked around in a comically conspirational fashion.

"Yes, why? And why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like the answer?"

"Don't jump to conclusions, you might love the answer!" As Jeff raised an eyebrow sardonically Matt continued. "I get tired sometimes of being the sensible one."

Jeff folded his arms, leaning against the wall. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"With me hitting thirty and everything, I'm really feeling it. I don't wanna be an old man - I need to remind myself that I'm not ready to spend my days sitting in a rocking chair on the porch with a blanket over my knees and a cane to shake at passers-by."

Jeff groaned. "Oh, not now Matt, I'm about to go to bed! Get someone else to hit the town with you. Shannon'll go, he's always up for a night on the tiles."

"No, no, no, anybody can do that. I'm Matt fuckin' Hardy - everyone knows the Hardys push the envelope, we're wilder and crazier than everyone around us."

"Yeeeees..." Jeff found himself dreading whatever Matt had decided would prove to himself that he was still young.

Matt's smirk was almost a little sinister at this point. "I thought, what I need to do is something more extreme, something most people wouldn't do."

Jeff just knew that whatever it was, it was a bad idea.

"Something most people would think was horrifying, revolting, immoral, something completely outside the realms of acceptability."

"Matt, are you on coke?"

"No. Why, do you have any?" Matt looked worryingly interested.

"No, and if I did you're the last person I'd give it to! It wouldn't mix well with your god complex."

"Oh." Matt shrugged. "Anyway, I thought, I need to do something to prove to myself that I'm just as hardcore as when I was twenty. Maybe more so. Something dangerous, something illicit, something so deliciously wrong that I'd never be able to tell another soul I'd done it."

Jeff shifted uneasily. "And this leads to you being here because...?"

His head down, Matt looked up at Jeff through his lashes. "And then I thought, 'you know what you could do, Matt?'" He reached around Jeff and patted his ass. "'You could fuck your brother, Matt, that's what you could do.'"

Jeff jumped about a foot away. "You thought what?!"

"I mean, most people would never have the balls to do that," Matt continued, following Jeff who was backpedalling incredulously.

"That's it Matthew, no more internet for you!"

"Aw, c'mon Jeff, I'll be gentle..." Matt reached out to his panicking brother.

"That's hardly the fucking point!" Jeff spluttered, slapping away Matt's questing hand.

"I'll make it short and sweet if that makes things easier for you."

"No, it would NOT make things fucking easier, you demented motherfucker!"

"Oh, you fancy long and languid, huh? That's no problem honey, I'll take care of you good." Matt gave him a salacious wink.

"I don't want you to take care of me at all, you crazy -" Jeff accidentally backed into the side of his couch, tumbling over it and landing on his back on the cushions. Before he could right himself and scramble away he had all the air knocked out of him as Matt gleefully launched himself on top of his prone sibling.

"You little hussy, that's the oldest trick in the book," Matt crowed, nuzzling at the crook of Jeff's neck. "You'll be pretending to sprain your ankle next."

"I'm not pretending anything!" Jeff squeaked in horror. "Now get the fuck off me, you insane bastard!"

"Oh, don't be like that Jeff, you'll enjoy it!" Matt shifted so that his thigh slid in between Jeff's, rocking it back and forth gently, careful not to crush anything important. "In fact, you're enjoying it already."

"That's not fair, that's an involuntary physiological reaction that I can't help, it wouldn't make any difference if you were a beautiful woman with enormous tits or a fucking baboon in a JR mask, that's just the way the male body wor- mmmph!"

Jeff found it very difficult to complete his sentence, on account of suddenly having a second tongue in his mouth. His eyes widened in shock and he put both hands on Matt's shoulders, trying to push him back. Matt kept on kissing him voraciously, taking hold of his face in both hands to keep him from squirming aside.

Matt eventually had to come up for air, and Jeff made the most of it. "Matt, think about what you're doing!"

Matt wrinkled his nose. "I don't wanna." He bent to kiss and nibble at Jeff's throat, and noted with satisfaction that Jeff had to try to suppress a shudder.

"Have you thought how you'll feel about this tomorrow?" Jeff asked desperately.

Matt appeared to think, then shrugged. "Fuck it." He leaned back down to resume the kiss, but Jeff's lips remained stubbornly unresponsive in spite of the very hard cock Jeff now had pressed against Matt's thigh.

"Matt!" Jeff squawked against his brother's lips. With a sigh, Matt drew back a little to let Jeff speak. "Aren't you supposed to be straight?"

"What's your point?"

"What about the girls?"

"I thought it'd probably be best not to invite them."

"You stupid bastard, what will you do if they find out?"

"Well, I ain't gonna tell 'em. Are you?"

"Of course not, but..."

"There we go then, problem solved. Now open your mouth like a good boy." Matt bore down on Jeff again, but Jeff twisted his face to the side.

"Matt, you can't do this, it's all kinds of wrong! It's sick, it's bizarre, it's utterly immoral, it's..."

"Kinda hot?" Matt offered with a knowing grin. "Don't think I couldn't feel your cock twitch when you said how depraved it was."

Jeff was briefly speechless. "That's completely beside the point," he said eventually. "How would we deal with each other afterwards?"

"The same as always. We'll still be brothers, and we'll still love each other to pieces. It's just that now we'll have a hot, dirty, perverse secret." Matt bent low to Jeff's ear to whisper, "I can feel how much that thought excites you. Want me to be your dirty secret? You wouldn't believe how good it's going to feel when I suck your cock, knowing I'm the last person on earth you should ever allow to do it. I know you like it sleazy, and it just doesn't get any sleazier than cumming down your own brother's throat."

For a second Jeff just stared, still having a hard time believing the situation he found himself in. And then suddenly his arms were wound around Matt's neck, pulling him into an insatiably hungry kiss, returning the brutal violation Matt had inflicted on his own mouth moments earlier.

His capitulation took Matt by surprise, enough so that Jeff succeeded in rolling them off the couch. Matt landed heavily on his back and Jeff fell squarely on top of him, planting his knees on either side of Matt's hips and accidentally sending the coffee table halfway across the room. Rather than reassert his dominance Matt remained where he was, devouring Jeff's lips and taking two handfuls of his ass, using that grip to grind Jeff down against his own erection.

When Jeff broke the kiss, Matt looked irritatingly smug as well as pretty flushed. "I knew you'd go for it. You always were a fucking pervert."

"Like you're one to talk - you started it, so in my book that makes you more perverse than me."

"Yep," Matt agreed happily, trailing a finger down the crack of Jeff's ass through his pants. "So d'you reckon you're perverse enough to take your brother's cock up your ass?"

Jeff sulked. "Stop making it sound like a challenge, you know damn well I can't resist a challenge!"

"It IS a challenge. Frankly, I'll be very surprised if you can take it."

"...I hate you."

"Is that a yes?"

If looks could kill, they'd have been finding pieces of Matt spread across five states. "Yes. And I still hate you."

"Awesome, hate sex is fantastic." Matt fumbled clumsily with the fastening on Jeff's pants, only to have an exasperated Jeff slap his fingers away after a minute and stand up, dealing with them himself.

"Jesus Matt, in thirty years you'd think you'd have learned how to undo a pair of pants." Jeff shimmied the offending pants down his legs along with his boxers and stepped out of them both, kicking them aside carelessly.

"I ain't used to doing it from that angle," Matt protested, getting to his knees and putting his hands on Jeff's thighs to push him back. Jeff took the hint and flopped back onto the couch, immediately spreading his legs wide and reaching down to wrap his fingers around his cock, almost pointing it towards his brother.

"So, didn't you say something about sucking my cock?"

Matt crawled forward between Jeff's thighs. "Yeah. I think I'm gonna enjoy it too." His hair trailed over Jeff's leg as he bent over the cock being aimed at him. "It does look pretty damn tasty."

Instead of replying, Jeff curled his other hand around the back of Matt's head, pulling him down gently but insistently. Sending a quick smile in Jeff's direction, Matt took a second to wet his lips and opened his mouth, sliding it down over the head of Jeff's cock. He took great pleasure in the gasp he heard from Jeff as he sucked lightly, running his tongue over the tip to lap experimentally at the droplets of semen already leaking from it.

Matt was surprised at just how sexy he found the sensation of having his brother's hard cock in his mouth, and as he pushed his mouth a little lower on Jeff's shaft and settled into a languid rhythm he found himself wishing he'd undressed before he'd started. His own erection was very uncomfortable in the confines of his pants. On the other hand, if he'd been naked he probably couldn't have helped stroking himself and he didn't want to get too overexcited too soon.

"Holy fuck Matt, have you been practising this?" There was already a breathy note in Jeff's voice as he took his hand from the base of his cock, adding it to his other in Matt's hair.

As Matt's lips pulled into a smile his mouth was drawn tighter against Jeff's cock, and the groan it wrung from him was music to Matt's ears. He'd honestly only been attracted to fucking Jeff by the taboo nature of it, but Jeff's reactions to him were arousing him a lot more than he'd expected.

He tried to sink down further on Jeff's cock, feeling the fingers in his hair tighten as Jeff murmured, "C'mon Matt, take my cock deeper." He followed the instruction so enthusiastically he almost choked himself, his eyes watering as Jeff matched him with unexpected thrusts into his mouth.

He drew back briefly to ease the ache in his jaw, intending to favour his brother's cock with licks and kisses, but the hands in his hair tugged him away.

"You're wearing too much." As he spoke, Jeff pulled his own shirt up over his head and slung it aside.

"Well, I thought it might seem a bit forward if I got naked too quickly..." Matt lunged backward to avoid the playful slap Jeff aimed at him. He got to his feet and divested himself of his clothes faster than Jeff would have believed possible, the air briefly a flurry of flying garments and shoes.

Once he was done he hurled himself at his brother again, mouths connecting this time more out of lust than a desire to give the finger to the world's conventions and his own birth certificate. Jeff's arms welcomed him into a tight embrace, hands roaming down into the small of his back as Jeff scooted to the very edge of the couch so that when Matt knelt their bodies stayed locked together.

As much as he loved the feeling of Jeff's bare skin against his own, their body heat rising seemingly by the second, Matt's attention was mainly drawn to the fact that their cocks were now flush against each other, his saliva on Jeff's smearing across his own and making them slide a little as he ground his pelvis forward.

Jeff pulled back from the kiss, taking Matt's hand in his own and moving it to his lips. He sucked two fingers into his mouth, running his tongue over them and smirking around them when Matt's breath hitched in his throat, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"Maybe later," he said when he released Matt's fingers. "Right now I have a powerful urge to be fucked."

Matt tried to reply but his mouth wouldn't work, which was just as well because he had no idea what to say. He grabbed Jeff's arm and dragged him off the couch to the floor, and Jeff lay back without argument, legs splayed wide in silent invitation.

Crawling between Jeff's legs, Matt was struck by the enormity of what he was about to do. For a second he wasn't sure he ought to continue, wasn't sure Jeff could forgive him for it tomorrow. He looked up at Jeff's face and found him gazing down at him affectionately, his cheeks flushed and breathing heavily. There was a small smile on his lips and as Matt looked at him it turned into a grin. He couldn't help grinning back, and he stuck his fingers into his own mouth to wet them again.

Matt put his index finger to Jeff's entrance, rubbing over the flesh rather than pushing in mainly because he was a little afraid he'd be too rough with Jeff if he just went with what he wanted. He needn't have worried.

"For the love of God, Matt, would you stop teasing and put your fingers in my ass?"

"Alright, alright! Jeez, if I'd known you were such a slut..." Matt sank his finger in slowly and gently, pleased to hear Jeff sigh blissfully. He pushed it in as deep as it would go and started circling it carefully, running his thumb over the cool flesh on Jeff's balls. His slow circles pulled a moan from Jeff, and Matt watched entranced as Jeff wrapped his hand around his own cock, stroking himself lightly as he worked his ass on Matt's finger.

"Matt?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you stop?"

"Huh? Oh." Matt realised his hand was stationary. "Sorry, I just... I didn't realise you'd look so hot."

He managed to tear his eyes from the sight of his finger disappearing into his brother's body with some effort, and Jeff released his cock to reach for Matt with both arms. Putting his unoccupied hand at one side of Jeff's head to steady himself, Matt leaned down into another hungry kiss, groaning as he felt Jeff writhe on his finger again.

"I'm gonna look much better when my ass is full of your cock," Jeff whispered against Matt's lips, sliding his hand down between them to grasp Matt's erection.

His imagination flooding with images of fucking Jeff every which way, Matt bucked forward into Jeff's hand. His resolve to be gentle broke and his kiss became brutal as he pressed a second finger into Jeff forcefully, pausing barely a second before beginning to finger fuck him fast and hard.

Jeff yelped in surprise. Far from complaining, he returned the vicious kiss with vigour, meeting every thrust of Matt's hand enthusiastically, succeeding in exciting Matt further still. Jeff's ass felt so silky and hot around his fingers, Matt was dying to get inside him.

"Fuck... Matt... oh, to hell with this, fuck me!"

Laughing at Jeff's shamelessness, Matt withdrew his fingers. "We need something to use as lubricant," he said, not wanting to repeat the mistake he'd made the first time he'd tried to have anal sex with a woman, but Jeff shook his head at him as they sat up.

"Forget about that, the sting is half the fun."

Matt was half-tempted to ask Jeff just how much experience he'd had on the receiving end of penetration, but his mind went completely blank when Jeff bent and in one fluid motion, slid his mouth as far down Matt's cock as he could manage. He heard a helpless whimper that he was pretty sure came from himself as Jeff immediately pulled straight back up, leaving his cock glistening.

"I shouldn't need any more than that. Just let me control the speed to start with, okay?"

"Fuck, Jeff, give a guy a bit of warning, you're lucky I didn't cum in your face."

Jeff snorted. "Oh come on Matt, that's hardly appropriate first fuck behaviour. You should wait till at least the second time before you cum in my face. And avoid the eyes."

"I wasn't aware the etiquette of incest was so precise," Matt said, barely hearing his own words as he watched Jeff turn away from him and kneel forward, resting his forearms on the seat of the couch. "Uh, I feel kinda like a fool saying this to you, but you wouldn't believe how sexy it is seeing you spread your legs for me."

Jeff grinned over his shoulder. "Thanks. It's pretty fucking hot to be spreading them for my brother. Definitely the dirtiest thing I've done to date."

"I've got a feeling you might end up doing much, much dirtier things." Matt shuffled forward on his knees, positioning himself behind Jeff and taking hold of his cock in his hand. He rubbed the head up and down the crack of Jeff's ass a couple of times, while he prepared himself mentally for the fact that he was about to fuck his own younger brother.

Yes sir, Matt Hardy was still daring and dangerous, even when his thirties were fast approaching.

Smiling in pride at his depravity, Matt put the tip of his cock against Jeff's entrance and started pushing in. He felt Jeff's muscles clench suddenly at the pressure and then loosen as Jeff forced his body to delay its reactions until he was ready. After the head slid past the ring of muscle, Matt released his grip on his cock and leaned forward, pressing his chest to Jeff's back, his hands on Jeff's wrists.

"That's one hell of a tight ass you've got on you," he whispered in Jeff's ear, listening to Jeff's hiss of pain as he continued steadily pressing his cock into him. "If I'd known what a hot little bitch you make, I'd have fucked you years ago."

Jeff turned his head to glare, but Matt pre-empted his sharp retort with a rough kiss, forcing his tongue past Jeff's lips to claim possession of his mouth. He kept the kiss up until he'd driven himself as far into Jeff as he could, and then stopped to take deep, shaky breaths.

"See, I told you I could take it," Jeff gloated, although he still had all the muscles in his thighs tensed and his hands balled into fists.

"I can't quite believe I've got my cock in my own little brother's ass," Matt said, looking down at the sweat beginning to bead on the back of Jeff's neck as he slowly pulled back a little. He took his time as he pushed fully in again to try and judge how far Jeff had adjusted, but found Jeff coming back to meet him halfway.

"Obscene, ain't it?" Jeff muttered. "You're not going to hurt me, you know. Or at least, not more than I like."

Matt raised an eyebrow at that but obligingly increased his speed, withdrawing further before thrusting back in with a bit more force. "How's that?"

"That's fuckin' perfect Matt, you keep doing that." Jeff slid one arm out from Matt's grip, reaching down beneath himself to stroke his own cock in time with Matt's rhythm.

Matt gasped as Jeff began to clench his internal muscles on his inward thrusts, the extra friction making him want to rut into Jeff till he saw stars. "If you keep doing that, I'm gonna end up fucking you clear through this couch."

"Maybe that's what I want..." Jeff tightened his ass further still, daring Matt to make good on his threat.

With a growl, Matt grabbed Jeff by the hair. Keeping himself buried to the hilt, he swivelled the pair of them around and pushed Jeff's head down to the floor, the new position opening Jeff to deeper penetration. As Jeff turned his face to the side to avoid having his nose mashed into the floor, Matt forced his cock into Jeff's ass as hard as he could.

Jeff let out a yelp of pain that dissipated into a helpless moan, his hand immediately beginning to tug at his erection again, pushing back to meet Matt's thrusts.

"Christ, do you have any idea how fuckin' hot you look? Hot and slutty," Matt murmured breathlessly. "You're gonna make me cum so hard."

Jeff was too far gone to reply with anything other than broken whimpers and pleas to be fucked harder, and Matt was more than happy to oblige. He could feel his balls hitting the underside of Jeff's with every inward stroke, and the sweat on them both was making every slap of their flesh louder and dirtier.

Matt knew he was damn near done for, but he didn't want to let go before he felt Jeff cum, so he bent over him to whisper hotly, "Come on, you little whore, fuck yourself on my cock."

Jeff's eyes flew wide open, and Matt knew he'd hit the right note when he heard Jeff's desperate moan and saw the movement of his arm speed up, his hands on Jeff's hips helping him sustain the rhythm when Jeff's own control of his body failed him. He felt Jeff's ass tighten as he held his orgasm off for a moment for the sake of making it hit harder, and when Jeff finally let go the resistance was enormous.

Matt didn't relent even an inch, he kept up his rough and forceful fucking as Jeff groaned his release, and he was just about able to work through it until it occurred to him that his own brother just came around his cock. As soon as the thought hit him he lost his battle to draw out his own orgasm, and with a bestial grunt he rammed himself hard into Jeff's ass, staying deep as he flooded his sibling's now pliant body.

Panting heavily, Matt gingerly pulled his cock from Jeff and collapsed next to him, half floating in his post-orgasmic haze and half wondering if Jeff was going to slam the barriers down on him now. He looked round to see Jeff's expression, finding Jeff's fierce brow looking relaxed for once, tinges of red over his cheekbones and a sheen of sweat over his face. His eyes were closed but he looked quite serene.

"You okay? Still talking to me?"

Jeff grinned, forcing himself to open his eyes. "No, my fuckin' knees hurt." He shifted his legs together with visible effort and dropped his lower body to the floor, apparently not caring that he was lying in his own cum.

"Maybe next time I can play bottom. It kinda looks like fun."

Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Next time?"

"What, are you going to tell me you don't wanna do that again?"

"No comment." Jeff sighed. "I suppose I ought to go get cleaned up." He made no move to get up though.

"Me too." Neither did Matt.

The pair of them lay stretched out on the floor, trying to grapple with the shock of what they'd just done. Matt was pleased to find he'd been right - it truly was a deliciously dirty and sleazy secret.

"This better have solved your ageing problem."

"Oh yeah." Matt didn't think he'd be able to wipe the grin off his face for days. "I'm feeling quite youthful and virile. This is my best idea ever."

In spite of his intention to clean himself up, Matt gave in to his natural post-coital instinct and began to doze lightly, although he knew he'd be sore from staying on the floor when he woke. The last thing he heard was Jeff's voice.

"Man, when you turn forty, I'm leavin' the country."

Jeff's concentration was pulled from his painting by the sound of his door being flung wide open. He didn't have to look to know who was making such a noisy and rude entrance.