“Hi Matt!”

Matt groaned inwardly as he continued to pour his glass of water, and winced as his front door was slammed hard enough to make the front wall of the house shake. Jeff sounded awfully pleased with himself, and in Matt's experience things that started with Jeff being pleased with himself never ended well. Buying precious seconds of preparation, he stayed silent and began to drink his water.

Those seconds didn't help much at all. Before he knew it, Jeff was wittering in his ear.

“You're looking well! Except for the hairline, but that's a lost cause these days, ain't it? Nice shirt, by the way. Have you got a plate I can put this on? I don't want it seeping all over your house.”

Matt looked cautiously at the small box Jeff was waving around. He was tempted to ask what was in it, but he held back because he was afraid of what the answer might be.

“Hello? Plate?”

Putting his glass into the sink, Matt stepped over to a cupboard and pulled out a side plate. Jeff snatched it out of his hands immediately and put the box on it, setting them both down on the worktop.

“You're very lively today, Jeff.”

Jeff beamed. “I've decided today's gonna be a good day. Go on, ask me why.”

Against his better judgement, Matt complied. “Why?”

“It's a surprise!” Jeff's smug grin made Matt long for the days when he was small enough that Matt could shut him in the cupboard under the sink.

“Of course it is,” Matt muttered, rubbing his hand over his eyes. “I should have guessed. Um, although it's always a pleasure to see you Jeff, is there a particular reason for you calling over? Only if you're here just to be surreal at me as usual, could it wait for an hour or so while I wake up a bit more?”

“I do have a reason for dropping in, as it happens. You seem to be – hey, are you calling me surreal?”

Matt opened his mouth to reply but Jeff waved a hand dismissively and carried on.

“Never mind that, it's not important and I suppose you have a point anyway, I can be a little bit odd at times. Anyhow, I wanted to make sure you're doing as well as I think you are. You seem to be pretty much recovered and all, and I just wanted to make certain you're largely back to your old self now.”

Matt smiled affectionately. No matter how irritating and bizarre Jeff could be, Matt loved his brother dearly and it was always heart-warming when Jeff showed concern for him. “Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm itching to get back to work and all, but physically I'm in good shape now.”

“So you'd say you're mostly healthy again now?”

“Yep, fit and ready to raise hell again!”

“Good.”

Matt barely had time to register the movement of Jeff's arm before the precisely aimed punch to his jaw knocked him backwards, tripping over his own feet as he stumbled and landing in a furious heap on his kitchen floor.

“Bastard, what the fuck was that for?!” he demanded, one hand cradling his face protectively while he tried to decide whether to flatten Jeff. He was leaning towards 'yes'.

Jeff shook his fingers out and glared. “I've been waiting to do that for months! Do you realise that with your dumb fucking 'oh, I'm such a big man' routine, you nearly cost me my brother? How can even you be so fucking stupid as to try to no-sell an exploding internal organ?”

Rotating his jaw gingerly, Matt pulled himself to his feet and returned Jeff's glare. “And you decided a sensible response to the situation would be to hit me? Are you trying to finish me off? Also, I'm not stupid, jackass.”

“Oh, of course not, ignoring a ruptured appendix and then going to work the next day is the action of a really intelligent guy.” Jeff rolled his eyes. “Normal people would have called an ambulance or gone to the hospital, but not Matt Hardy, oh no. He has to show the world that a little thing like, you know, his fucking organs turning inside out, isn't going to stop him because he's so tough and butch and my God, you're a fucking idiot.”

“I wasn't trying to impress anyone, you little prick, I just didn't think it was as bad as it turned out to be! At the time I wasn't thinking about how it might impact you because I was a tiny bit busy being IN AGONISING PAIN!”

Jeff jabbed a finger at Matt's chest. “Listen, fuckwit, if you ever pull anything this dumb again... screw Orton, I'm gonna kick you where your appendix used to be. Of all the retarded macho bullshit... so anyway, are you going to open your present?”

Matt blinked repeatedly at Jeff's eager smile, still rubbing at his jaw. He was definitely getting too old to deal with Jeff's emotional schizophrenia. “What?”

“Your present!” Jeff exclaimed, gesturing wildly at the little box. “I'm quite excited about it, I think it's my best idea ever.”

Matt bit his tongue. “What is it?”

“If you open the box, dipshit, you'll see.”

Matt hesitantly reached for the box, the expression of anticipation on Jeff's face only adding to his unease. When he flipped the lid open, he was momentarily struck dumb.

“Isn't it great?” Jeff squealed.

Matt stared into the box, at a total loss to explain the gift. “You shouldn't have, Jeff. Really.”

Jeff was grinning happily. “Oh, it's my pleasure.”

“What, uh... what is it?”

“It's a heart, silly!”

Sometimes Matt was positive he was adopted. “It's a heart. Of course it is. I should have known.” Only Jeff would get him a real heart. In a way he was almost relieved; for a second he thought Jeff had got him a new appendix.

“I've made us rabbit stew for lunch too. Happy Valentine's Day!” Jeff threw his arms wide theatrically.

Matt had no words for how demented Jeff was, so he said nothing on the subject. “Thanks Jeff. It's sweet of you to think of me, but I don't really mind being alone on Valentine's Day. It's not a big deal. I appreciate it though.”

Jeff shook his head with a smile. “I don't think you understand what I'm telling you.”

That was hardly new. Matt didn't understand the vast majority of things Jeff ever said or did, and neither did anyone else. Jeff was, after all, the man who had once given him a dead fish for Christmas. “You're going to have to elaborate, then.”

Jeff smirked. “I've decided that what our relationship needs is a little romance.”

Matt's eyebrows rose in alarm. “No, what our relationship needs is for you to remember that you're my brother.”

“Man, I knew you'd say that, you can be so boring at times.”

Matt gaped. So not wanting to commit incest made you boring now?

“Look, you're good at the logic stuff. So you can make the logic decisions for us. I'm good at the emotional stuff, so I'll make the emotional decisions for us.” Jeff folded his arms and set his chin high. “And I've decided you and I need to be a lot more intimate.”

Appealing to Jeff's sanity was unlikely to work, all things considered, so Matt decided to go with a more practical tactic. “Jeff, you have a girlfriend,” he said gently.

“That has nothing to do with whatever there is between us. And you know it's there, don't lie to me.” Jeff's eyes challenged Matt to deny it.

“I don't...” Matt trailed off as he hesitated; white lies were one thing, but it went against his principles to be dishonest about something important. “Okay, we're close, we feel a lot for each other, but have you really thought about what you're suggesting here?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I have.” Jeff's face was unusually serious. “I know it ain't normal, but the way we feel about each other ain't normal either.”

“How could we possibly risk screwing up the relationship we have now just because you wanna get your rocks off? It's too important to jeopardise it over sex.”

Balling his hands into fists at his sides, Jeff visibly resisted the desire to throw a second punch at Matt. “It's not about sex! God, you should know that! I love you, you pig-headed jackass. You're the constant in my life, from birth to death. I could piss you off, offend you, disappoint you, hurt you... but I know whatever I do, you'll still love me. That's breathtaking, Matt, and I wanna take your breath away too.”

Matt fumbled for any suitable response to this, but Jeff solved the dilemma for him when his brain slipped back into Jeff mode.

“Well, not literally, obviously. That'd be a pretty dumb thing to do considering it would deprive me of you. And although incest's looking fairly kickass right now, I don't think I'm really ready for necrophilia. I mean, it probably wouldn't be too bad at first, but then the rot would set in and you know how it is, nothing ruins the mood like your lover putrifyin' on your cock and...”

Matt put a hand over Jeff's mouth. “Stop. For the love of God, stop talking.”

Not only did Jeff stop talking, he reached up and caught Matt's hand in his own, gently kissing Matt's palm. Matt would have loved to pretend it had no effect on him, but contact with Jeff's skin always comforted him, and contact with Jeff's lips even more so. He wouldn't have called it sexual as such, but it was certainly intimate.

“This is a really big thing you're talking about here Jeff. What if it all goes wrong?” Matt's voice became increasingly quiet. “What if I can't cope with it?”

Jeff smiled as he released Matt's hand. “The heart's a resilient thing. Did you know your heart pumps around fifteen hundred gallons of blood every day?”

“I didn't know that.” Matt's eyes were drawn back to his rather gruesome gift.

“Hearts are incredibly strong. And I think yours is stronger than most.”

Matt appreciated the compliment, but he couldn't think of a way to respond to it that didn't make him sound like a girl, so he said nothing.

“You wanna know something really amazing?” Jeff continued. “The heart in that box is dead, right? But if you put live cells in it, it'd beat again.”

Matt was sceptical. “Okay, now you're just making shit up.”

“I am not! They said so in Minnesota. Or somewhere, I don't remember. But they definitely said it.”

It was impossible not to grin at Jeff when he looked so petulant. “Alright, alright, I believe you!”

“Good.”

“My heart's not dead, Jeff.”

“Yeah, I know. But it is a little bit rusty, so that cool stuff about making shit beat again seemed appropriate.”

“I'm still not sure about this...”

Jeff's petulance morphed into self-assurance and determination in seconds. He stepped in close to Matt, putting his hands on Matt's hips and tugging him forward until their noses were almost touching and holding his gaze intently.

“You always worry about everything, and you make sure everything works. How about you leave this one to me? Let me worry about this one, and I'll make sure it works.” Tilting his head to the side, he pressed a kiss over Matt's cheek and the corner of his mouth, lingering there and relishing the feeling of Matt's flesh against his own.

Matt couldn't help but lean his face into the kiss; while there was an odd platonic layer over it, it felt so natural and reassuring to have Jeff's lips on him. When Jeff pulled away from him he murmured, “So what happens now?”

“Well, I run back home and pick up that rabbit stew for our lunch.” Jeff grinned. “You go back up to bed and when I get back here, I'll join you and take your breath away.”

Matt bit at his lip, trying not to snort with laughter. “That may well be the tackiest line I've ever heard in my life.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jeff gave a sheepish smile. “I felt like a dickhead saying it. It's still true though.” He took Matt by the shoulders, propelling him in the direction of the stairs. “Now, you go and warm that bed up.”

Matt had to admit it was liberating to let something be someone else's responsibility for once. He was doing okay until he was in bed and then there was nothing to do but wait for Jeff. He felt his tension and his nervousness rising, but he knew Jeff would make sure his worries were unfounded.