"You alright?" Matt asked in concern as he watched his brother take a seat in their locker room, closing the door behind him. "You looked like your head hit the ring post awful hard." He took a step toward Jeff, reaching out to touch his forehead, but Jeff shrank away from him and turned to search through his bag.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me," Jeff said, his voice flat, as he pulled out a bottle of water and fiddled with the cap.

"Did I do something wrong?" Matt cast his mind back, trying to think how he could have annoyed his brother.

Jeff had opened his mouth to reply when the door swung open and Hunter stuck his head into the room, an open, friendly smile on his face.

"Sorry Matt, I only want his attention for a moment." As Matt's brow furrowed in confusion, Hunter turned to Jeff and continued. "You took a bit of a smack out there and I wanted to say that if you don't feel well enough to come over tonight we can leave it. I know a headache always makes me feel like I don't want company."

"No, it's fine," Jeff said cheerfully, although to Matt it sounded forced. "It's nothing major, we're still on."

Hunter grinned. "Great, I'll come back and pick you up in a little while then. Bye Matt." With that, he left and pulled the door shut after him. Matt stared stupidly at the door for a second, then rounded on Jeff.

"You have a lover?"

"Yeah, so?" Jeff started pulling his clothes out of his bag and setting them out on the bench.

"When exactly were you planning to tell me?" Matt asked in a tight voice, keeping his eyes fixed on his arms as he pulled his elbow pads off.

"I didn't think you'd care. We're only brothers, after all."

Matt flinched and dropped to the bench. "Of course I care. It's kind of unexpected."

Jeff laughed humourlessly. "What, you thought I'd live the rest of my life like a monk? Thought I'd swear off men simply so you don't have to see me with them?"

"No, I'm just a little surprised it's so soon. I thought I'd have some time to deal with it, that's all."

"Well, now you know. I have a lover. Okay?" Jeff started taking his boots off with one hand, rubbing his sore temple with the other.

After a moment's thought, Matt asked, "Is that why you stopped rooming with me?"

"No."

"Why was it then?"

Temporarily losing his control, Jeff flung a boot at the wall opposite him with all his might. "Why the fuck do you think? Can we please drop this conversation? I'm pissed off enough at the moment without having to talk about it as well. Just leave me in peace."

"This is about next Saturday, isn't it?"

Jeff stared at Matt in amazement. "I can't believe you even have to ask that. Look, I've said I'll be there, I've said I'll paint a happy smile on my face and I've even said I'll be your best man. I'm keeping up appearances for you, like you wanted, but if you expect me to be your obedient and adoring little brother in private now, you can fuck right off."

"Jeff, we agreed on this," Matt started, but Jeff cut him off.

"No, YOU agreed on this. I just couldn't talk you out of it."

"I've got to, Jeff. I can't live the way we were, it's not right."

"So you said. Fine, live however the hell you want, I won't stand in your way." Jeff picked up his towel and stalked into the shower room.

Matt sat and looked at the wall, listening to Jeff turning the shower on and trying not to imagine the sight he knew Jeff made in there. He fished in his bag for his wallet and pulled out the photo he kept there of his fiancee.

She was pretty, he told himself. She was intelligent and bubbly, and she was a sweet girl who always made an effort to get on with his family and friends, even if his brother barely managed to veil his hostility towards her. He assured himself for the millionth time that he'd lead a contented life married to her. He hurriedly put the picture away when Jeff came back from the shower, his towel wrapped about his waist.

"I'm not doing this to hurt you, Jeff."

"No, but you don't give a fuck that it IS hurting me."

"You know that isn't true!" Matt looked offended and Jeff relented a little, seeming to deflate as his temper drained away.

"I just can't believe you replaced me so easily," he mumbled, picking up his shirt and yanking it over his head.

"It's not easy," Matt said, swallowing hard as he watched Jeff's muscled torso disappear beneath the shirt. "And you haven't been replaced."

"Well, it sure looks that way to me. You told me you couldn't be with me anymore, two weeks later you're fucking her day in and day out, and a month after that you're engaged. Doesn't look to me like you're missing me too much."

"Then you're not looking hard enough. I miss you constantly." Jeff picked up his underwear and dropped his towel, and Matt quickly fastened his eyes on the floor. "I think about you all the time, even when I'm at home. I miss everything about you. Like last week, we had some friends over for dinner, and when she sets the table she puts a knife at every place, then a fork, then a spoon and all the rest of it. I stood there watching her and I remembered how you used to do it, just dropping everything in a damned great pile in the middle of the table and setting each place one by one. Somehow, the way she does things never seems as good as the way you did things, even when her way works better."

"Yeah, nothing Hunter does ever seems to compare either. If it wasn't so tragic, it'd be funny."

Sure that Jeff must be in his boxers now, Matt looked up, trying to stop his eyes travelling the length of Jeff's toned legs several times and failing miserably.

"You're not wearing your anklet."

"Uhhh... no." Jeff stepped into his pants, and Matt was more thankful for that than Jeff would have believed. "It doesn't feel right to wear it anymore. I can't."

Matt nodded, fighting the lump in his throat. "Is he good to you?"

Jeff blinked in surprise at the question, then sat down and sighed, struggling into his boots. "He tries to be. He's attentive and he's always trying to please me. It's just that he's not... well, I'm not in love with him. Maybe one day I can learn to be."

Matt laughed bitterly. "God, that sounds familiar."

"I suppose this situation isn't really fair to him either. He's sweet, he deserves someone better than me."

"There isn't anyone better than you." Matt's voice shook from the effort of controlling his emotions.

"Except her."

"Jeff, don't. Please."

"I'm sorry Matt, honestly. I don't mean to snipe at you. It's only..." Jeff stood and turned away from Matt, using the excuse of packing away his ring clothes to avoid his brother's eyes. "It's only that I always knew it'd take someone really, really special to keep your heart. For a little while there I kinda hoped it might be me. Talk about an inflated self-image."

Jeff jumped when he felt Matt's hand on his arm and tried to ignore the butterflies it set off in his stomach. He let Matt turn him around and run a hand down his cheek, chewing his lip to keep himself from twisting his head and kissing the gentle fingers. He didn't dare move in case it startled his sibling away, and he almost stopped breathing when Matt bent forward and kissed him softly, expressing everything he couldn't put into words.

Their tongues tangled together slowly and passionately, Matt's taste making Jeff's head swim until a second joined it, sharp and salty, as Matt's tears seeped between their lips. Able to move at last, Jeff wrapped his arms about his brother's shoulders and clung to him desperately, wishing he could stay forever in this beautiful little moment.

Finally, Matt broke the kiss and reached up to press his lips lovingly to Jeff's forehead. "It'll always be you," he whispered, then grabbed his bag and left the room as quickly as he could, still in his ring gear, needing to escape the agony being so close to Jeff caused.

Jeff stared after him, almost able to feel Matt's lips on his own still, the taste of his brother's tears fresh in his mouth. He opened the small pocket in the end of his bag and reached in, pulling out a short, thin gold chain.

He carried it through to the shower room, then stopped and held it up to the light. He ran a finger over the two small charms hanging from it, the letters M and J spelt out in delicate filigree. Shaking his head sadly, he dropped the anklet down the drain.

"Jeff? Are you ready yet?"

Straightening his shoulders, Jeff walked back into the locker room and into his lover's arms.